The American Girl

I think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams, and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing why or being able to explain them.           ~ Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

     In May my granddaughter Addie turned six. She has had a terrific first year of school, tackling kindergarten with enthusiasm. To my amazement, she learned to read. It was time... you see, I have been waiting on her to learn to read before I gave her a special gift. I wanted to give her an American Girl Doll.

     For those who don't know about American Girl Dolls, they are high quality dolls, all of them are 18 1/2 inches tall, and come in a rainbow of skin, hair and eye colors. Some of the dolls are characters from different times in American history-- so one doll may be modeled to be from the 1810's, complete with a wardrobe and accessories from that time period. These dolls based on history all have books where the doll's character is the heroine.

     You can buy these dolls online, through a catalogue, or you can visit a store. There is a large American Girl Doll store in Chicago in the Water Tower Place, a high end shopping center right on Michigan Avenue. It is about 3 1/2 hours from central Indiana, where Addie and I live.

     I have a dear friend Kathy whose granddaughter Karolina just turned seven and is already an American Girl Doll enthusiast. Kathy suggested that she and I take our granddaughters together up to Chicago for a day of shopping and girl fun. So... last Friday that is exactly what we did.

     I had an American Girl Doll catalogue here for Addie to look through, so she could figure out which of the many choices in dolls she would like. Did she want one of the ten or so historical character dolls or did she want to get one that would look just like her, with similar skin, hair and eye tones? She spent quite a bit of time mulling this important question over, and we decided she could make up her mind when we got to the store.

     Addie had never traveled outside of our local area, so a 3 1/2 hour car ride was a real adventure. She told us as we drove through northern Indiana flat farm country that she'd never seen a farm before. We passed a windmill farm, and that was new to her. We stopped at a rest stop on the interstate, and that was new too. And finally, when we spotted the skyline of Chicago looming in the distance, she got her first view of a really big city. As we drove into the downtown area, with all the skyscrapers, she was awestruck. Karolina had been there before, so wasn't quite as impressed... but both girls chattered excitedly about being in the city.

     We parked the car in a high rise parking garage and walked a short distance to the store. Michigan Avenue ("The Magnificent Mile!") was full of all manner of people, honking traffic, and the noise of the city. Addie held my hand tightly! We passed beggars and a homeless man asleep on the sidewalk, and saw people of all kinds, including a woman in a full berka (that generated an excellent conversation on how people can have very different opinions and beliefs than we do...) When we walked in the front door of the store, she was awestruck... there in front of her were thousands upon thousands of the most beautiful dolls she'd ever seen. We walked the displays and looked at all the historic character dolls (there was one named Addy that I thought she might go for...) and then we took the escalator (Yes! This store is two floors of doll displays, and has it's own escalator!) up to the "My American Girl" department. Here were display cases full of dolls of many hues-- starting from pale skin toned blond hair and blue eyes all the way through dark skin, black hair and brown eyed dolls. There were probably 50 or so of them.

     Addie picked a doll that looked just like her-- reddish blond "caramel" hair, blue eyes and light skin.  At first she named the doll "Candy" but as the day wore on that changed to "Isabelle"-- perhaps because of the featured doll of that name that was a ballet dancer, or perhaps because Addie just loved the name. At any rate, we looked at the clothing for the dolls, matching clothing for little girls, all the accessories (one of the historical character dolls from 1974 comes with a Volkswage bug convertible!) and furniture. Karoline bought some clothing for her doll, and then took the doll to the Ear Piercing Salon. Yes. You read that right. An ear piercing salon for the doll... her doll emerged with pretty silver earrings in her ears and 5 more pair of earrings to change into as needed. There was also a doll hair salon, a doll hospital, a bakery/sweet shop, and a restaurant. Even the bathroom stalls had special hooks to hang your doll on while you completed your task. I was amazed! Addie was thrilled!

     We had reservations mid afternoon for lunch at the restaurant, which gave us some time to hang out with the girls in Water Tower Place. We went to the Lego store, and then had great fun going up and down on the escalators and the glassed in elevators. Addie probably could have skipped lunch and just ridden the escalator, but soon it was time to go eat.

Having fun in the Lego store!

     The restaurant was at the back of the store, and was decked out in linen tableclothes and napkins. They had booster seats for the dolls (!) and once the dolls and the little girls were seated, the dolls got their own dish and cup. The napkin holders were hair ribbons. The desserts were decorated with silk flowers that could also be added to a doll's hair (or even better-- to a little girl's!) We dined elegantly on a four course meal that was delicious, ridiculously expensive for a 6 and 7 year old, and a lot of fun. The girls were on their best behavior, and were polite and fun.

Addie with her doll named Isabelle

Karolina with her doll named Rebecca

Two Grandmas and their Granddaughters having lunch at the American Girl Cafe in Chicago

     The ride home was a little quieter in the back seat. Addie hugged Isabelle most of the way. Karolina hugged her doll too. The girls chattered away happily, watching DVD's at times and playing on Ipads as well. We arrived home after dark, way past Addie's bedtime. She was still excited about the day but very, very sleepy. She went to bed at Grandma's house in her special little girl bed, dreaming dreams of travel, adventure and of her new doll. Grandma fell asleep too, tired but happy to have spent the day on such a grand adventure, with a very special little girl!

     Was the store a bit over the top? Well, yes. Was it too expensive? Absolutely. Perhaps I was really shopping for myself? Maybe... But I only have one granddaughter, and I have looked forward to taking her to this store for a long, long time. I think we created some memories that both of us will remember for our whole lives.  And that, quite honestly, was worth the time, money, and effort!

Karolina and Addison-- they are in front of a display with a historic doll named Caroline and another one named Addy!

This is Addie the next morning, hugging her new doll named Isabelle.

Musings on my college graduation...

This is the time to remember because it will not last forever; 

these are the days to hold on to because we won't although we'll want to.

          ~Billy Joel

Yesterday afternoon I was knitting and found my mind wandering a bit... and then it hit me. Forty years ago I had graduated from college. Forty years!  I found myself remembering a lot about that time in my life-- the four years I spent in college were formative-- I entered a kid, really. And graduated as an adult, ready and eager to take my place in the world. Full of ideals and plans for my life.

There were four of us who became fast friends that first semester of our freshman year at the University of Michigan. All of us were nursing students. I thought of the four of us and how different our lives have turned out than what we thought. My college roomie is perhaps living the closest to what I would have predicted for her-- but even she had a few unexpected turns in her life. She isn't married to the person she thought she would marry back when she was a freshman. She matured past the high school boyfriend, eventually met another wonderful guy as a junior, and married him a year or so after graduation. She was a nurse, loving the complicated patients in the ICU-- but eventually "left the bedside" for a job in research with a pharmaceutical company. Happily, she is still married to that wonderful guy and has two delightful daughters and a son-in-law and grandson. And she too retired recently.

Then there is the one who was the most cheerful of the four of us-- always laughing, always trying to look at the bright side of life. She was extremely popular with the guys as a freshman, dating lots of them. She met a special one, married him the summer before we were seniors. She worked in various bedside nursing jobs early on, but finally found her niche in social work and counseling. Her marriage ended abruptly and very badly after 25 years, leaving her single with 2 almost grown sons. She swore off men, got the boys raised and then started going on mission trips... where she met a wonderful widowed man who eventually convinced her to risk marriage again-- and she has been very happily married ever since. Her new family includes step sons and daughters and I'm not even sure how many grandchildren. She loves them all! She has retired as well.

Another of our fab four left nursing school after her personal life came crashing down with a broken engagement. She never graduated, but eventually married a guy she met in school. She was the one who drifted the farthest from our group-- though kept in touch with us. And she is the only one who is no longer with us. She passed away suddenly from a devastating stroke at too young an age.

And then there is me. I met my husband the first week of freshman year, and that was it-- we were a couple almost immediately and eventually married 2 years after graduation. That marriage lasted 26 years, long enough for us to raise two wonderful boys. I went into OB nursing, as I had predicted I would. I worked at the bedside the longest of any of the four of us, but eventually got into administration and an office. After my divorce, I swore off men too. But that was a lonely life, so I gave an internet dating service a try and met Lanny...  and you all know how well that turned out! I am also retired from nursing.

All of us at the time of our graduation envisioned happy lives spent with the men we had met in college and fallen in love with. We envisioned a happy family life, a rewarding career that would make us all contributors to the society we lived in. Each of us experienced bumps along the way-- marital breakups, seriously ill children, jobs that were so hard on us either physically or mentally that we had to leave them... and one of us died way too soon. But each of us, I think, did live up to the expectation of making the society we lived in a better place. And each of us, I think, would agree that we were better people because of the friendships formed with one another that first semester of our freshman year at University of Michigan.

I have been reading lots of posts on Facebook about graduations. Last night we could hear the reverie of a graduation party in the neighborhood... and I think about all those young people with hopes and expectations for their futures, just as I had when I graduated.  My wish for them is to find friends to travel the road with, to help them with the bumps in their lives. And to realize there will be bumps, the road won't be straight at all, and there will be moments of sadness, tragedy and desperation. Friends will help them face all of that without loneliness or fear.

So here's to you Cindy, Donna and Marty! And Jean and Kathy! And of course Patty! And Kathy and Karen! And all the other friends along the path of my life. Thank you all for enriching my life, for making it the grand adventure it has been. And here's to the journey as we all head into the future-- which remains as bright as the day we graduated because of our friendships...

Here I am with my closest college friends at our last reunion a couple years ago. None of us has lived life exactly as we thought... but we've contributed to society and stayed friends.

My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my desperation.

         ~Helen Keller