The importance of girl friends!

Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.
           ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

     Last evening I went to the home of my former sister-in-law to have dinner and spend the evening reconnecting with she and her daughter, my niece. We sat in the cool evening on her deck, drinking wine, eating excellent food, and talking until late into the night. Then I spent the night in her guest room, got up this morning and we repeated the process over coffee and breakfast. Both of us share the life event of unplanned divorce, so there was much to talk about. Having been married to brothers for many years, we shared a life experience of family for so long we felt like sisters. We could reminisce together about family events, raising children and the shared traits of our former husbands. We laughed together, shared a few tears, consoled each other and supported one another, just as we had done for years before our marriages failed. It felt wonderful to reestablish this connection. And my niece, who is now a very happy newlywed, joined us for some serious conversations about life and family and pain and growth. Seeing her as an adult and hearing her wisdom is remarkable, and I thoroughly enjoyed her company. When I left this morning, we all pledged to make these girls' nights out a more regular event.

     As I drove home, I got to thinking about not just my relationship with this sister-now-friend, but with all my girl friends. These relationships have been crucial in each phase of my life, and these friends have supported and loved me at the times I most needed it. Sometimes when nobody else was there, a friend would show up to share my burden or my joy.

     Fostering friendships with women can be difficult when one is in a marriage too. Often friendships develop as couples, and when one couple splits, the friendship ends. I have been very, very lucky to have had close relationships with women friends in each phase of my life. Some of these women are still my friends, others have moved on. But the total experience is that I am a wiser, happier person because of my friends.

     So, here's to you, Susie and Kasey... and Patty...  

     and Cindy... And Kathy and Karen...  And Colleen and Nancy and Joyce and Donna and Margaret and Sally and Carol and Trish and  Jo and Sherrie and Carrie and Debbie...  And Lois and Patty...and all the others! Bless you all for your gift to me. I sincerely hope I have been a friend in return and have enriched your lives as much as you have enriched mine!

To know someone here or there
with whom you can feel
there is understanding
in spite of distances or
thoughts expressed
That can make life a garden.          

          ~ Goethe