Grandma speaks on Covid-19

Thanksgiving 2019

Our last family gathering, Thanksgiving 2019

“Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.” 

~Doug Larson

Last year for Thanksgiving, Lanny and I were blessed to have my two sons and their families here to celebrate. They were here for the long weekend, so we had a little time to just enjoy each other's company and Grandma Barb could get her fill of hugs from her three grandchildren. My sister and husband, and their daughter and her family that includes three little girls, were able to visit us over that same weekend, so the cousins and second cousins could visit for at least a little while. Grandma was so happy to have them all here!! We missed seeing Krissy and Nate, but they were able to visit at Christmas. 

Little did I know it would be the last time I would see them for a very long time. In fact, it will probably be into next spring if we're lucky before I can see them again. A year, and still counting... And it's because of being quarantined due to Covid-19. Lanny and I fall into the "high risk" category for this virus. That means that a hug from one of these precious offspring could spell disaster for us... and we certainly don't want to transmit it to any of them. The after-effects of this infection can be vast, as it attacks many body systems. Some people have no symptoms, some die, some have damage to vital organs that shorten their lives and make it difficult for the time they have left. And while those in the high risk group tend to fare less well, it is not possible to predict yet who might get a mild case and who might not. 

First, let me say that I have tried very hard to stay upbeat, to not complain about our situation. I am not really a whiner. And, there are so many who are so much worse off than I am. First, I am privileged financially. That is, my income, while fixed, does not depend on me working. So I don't have to risk my health to go to work. And, I am old enough that I do not have to face how to manage virtual school for any child and still try to earn an income. What a dilemma that is! Second,  I haven't lost a family member, nor do I suffer the terrible situation where a family member is in a nursing home and I can't visit them... but I have friends who have. Third, I have access to food delivery from our local grocery store, negating the need to go there in person. We get our prescriptions through a drive through window. We do drive through and pick up from restaurants. So, our physical needs are not in question, nor is the financial issue of how to pay for them. 

Other aspects of life-- the fun stuff-- has also gone virtual. We haven't been to a museum, a concert, an art gallery, a library in forever. We had a wonderful trip to England cancelled, and all other travel plans have been put on hold. But, if I want, I can get online and travel there virtually, and I have. I can get books electronically for a lower cost than buying a book, or our library has a new program where you request the book online and then drive by, where they come out and put it in your trunk.  Art galleries here have had some creative online endeavors to keep patrons engaged. And even work for many has become a virtual endeavor. My son works from home so he can provide supervision for his own children as they attend school virtually. And again, I remember and acknowledge that many, many people do not have the means to afford either a computer or iPad or the internet service that runs them. Some live where internet access is poor. Even around here, in these mountains, internet access can be dicey . 

But, with all the efforts of all these people to keep life ticking, there is one thing that simply cannot be replaced-- face to face human interaction. For me, the deepest felt need is to hug my kids and my grandkids. The lack of it has become almost a physical ache. I have not seen my family in almost a year, and it has been even longer for some of my out of town friends. All of my grandchildren have expressed a certain dislike for virtual school, and while they probably don't realize exactly what is the matter, it is the missing human contact that is probably behind a lot of their dissatisfaction. 

The virus has impacted us all, some more acutely with direct contact with it, others just by the inconvenience of having to deal with it. But I suggest that it is the lack of human interaction that is at the core of all of our suffering. And it is showing up as anger and fear in many. And that anger and fear has been dominating the news, especially during this election.

The answer is, of course, for the virus to go away. Some will say it will go away on it's own, but as a health care person I know better. This is the time for science to reign. Politics will get us nowhere in solving this crisis! The answer is literally right in front of us-- wear the mask, wash the hands, and stay home as much as possible. When you go out, stay as far apart from people as possible. When a vaccine has been shown to be effective and safe, get vaccinated. And we need to have public officials all on the same page, all saying the same thing, so those who do not have a background in health care will understand. Please, please... listen to the experts. And experts are not those in Congress, the White House or local politicians... they are public health experts. And I am advocating that we hold our elected representatives in these high places to account if they do not listen to the experts and base their policy responses to the virus on expert advice. 

One final plea... the way to defeat this virus is to look outside our own needs and attend to the needs of others as well. That's what wearing a mask and social distancing will do. That's why it works. I protect you (and myself to a certain extent) and you protect me (and yourself as well!). It's being a part of the community. Of each of us doing our part. On behalf of grandmothers everywhere, I am begging you to do your part so we can once again hug our grandchildren in person...

Addie and Grandma

Will and Grandma

Sam and Grandma