Silent Night

Silent night! Holy night! 
Son of God love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face  
With the dawn of redeeming grace,  
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,  
Jesus, Lord at thy birth.
          ~from "Silent Night", composed in 1818, words by Joseph Mohr, music by Franz Gruber

 

                                              

I can't sing Silent Night without getting all choked up. Even driving around in the car in the crazy Christmas shopping traffic, when the song is played on the radio I can't sing along. The song triggers so many memories of Christmases long ago...

I remember when my first baby was celebrating his first Christmas. He was eight months old. We had just moved into a big old house in an historic neighborhood-- our house was a "fixer-upper".  There was a Methodist Church within walking distance, so on Christmas Eve, we bundled the baby boy into his snowsuit and trudged off to church. Strangers there, we were greeted warmly, but every person we met directed us to the nursery-- everyone assumed we'd put the baby there during the service. I knew he'd scream bloody murder in there though, so I opted to take him into church. We sat near the back, so in case he cried we could make a quick exit.

He didn't cry. He was mesmerized by the lights. He smiled and gurgled happily on my lap. And when it was time to light the candles and sing Silent Night, he listened intently for a bit and then started to babble-- he was mimmicking the singing he heard. At 8 months old, my baby boy was singing.

I remember another Christmas Eve service where there were two boys. The youngest one was 3. Both were very excited-- and going to church on Christmas Eve had already become a ritual. So when we headed off in the car, this time to a suburban Methodist church, both of them were pretty wound up. Too wound up, it turned out, for a wiggly 3 year old boy. He couldn't sit in his seat. Scribbling on the bulletin only lasted so long. Next thing his parents knew, he was on the floor and had rolled under the seat. And almost nobody noticed because this service was in the early evening and was specifically designed for young families. The sactuary was full of wiggly three year olds, most of whom were also on the floor and under the seats...

As that service drew to a close, the candles were lit and the congregation began to sing Silent Night. The wiggly 3 year old crawled out from under the seats and stood in rapt attention. He "helped" light his mother's candle. He too sang along, as best he could, to the old Christmas hymn.

I remember only a few years ago not being able to attend Christmas Eve services because I was an emotional wreck. My divorce had been final for less than a week, and emotions were just too raw. My life seemed to have crumbled around me... and the pain was amplified by the season.

Only a year later I attended Christmas Eve services, this time with my new beau. We had never been to church together, so I was looking forward to it. My parents came with us, and it was a very special time. I remember distinctly choking up when it came time to light the candles and sing Silent Night-- I was so filled with gratitude for the change in my life and the new love I was discovering.

And so it remains. The song reminds me of my babies and the joy they brought to my life, and of pain and suffering when life took a sad turn, and of newfound love and joy. It reminds me annually of the blessings I have been given and the suffering that I have survived. It reminds me of another mother, so long ago, who also was given great blessings with her son, and who suffered immeasurable grief at his loss, only to discover his loss brought her new life.

My wish for you, dear reader, is that at some point this Christmas season, you are reminded of the blessings in your life. If you are trying to survive a painful time, I hope something during the holiday reminds you that suffering doesn't last forever, that there will be happier times ahead.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

     ~ from "Mary, Did You Know" by Mark Lowry