Thursday, January 12, 2012

Discovering my past

Ancient Howes Family Burial Ground, Dennis, Massachusetts

Ancient Howes Family Burial Ground-- the white monument is over the site of Old Tom and Mary's grave


In the little town of Dennis, Massachusetts, about a third of the way out on Cape Cod, hidden in the woods off the beaten path, is a little cemetery. No one would know it was there except for the metal sign at the edge of the woods that reads "Ancient Howes Family Burial Ground". There is a small path to follow back through the woods to a stone fence and an open meadow filled with very old tombstones. Almost without exception, the last names on these stones is Howes.
 My last name is Howes. I have learned over the years how proud I should be of that! Let me explain:

I grew up surrounded by loving parents, both sets of grandparents and a large extended family. One of my favorite great aunts, Aunt Gert, was the family genealogist on my dad's mother's side of the family. From her, I learned a lot about my Webster relations dating back to the early 1600's. The idea that I could trace my lineage back that far was pretty thrilling to a young woman who loved history and antiques and all things old. The Websters were an old and important New England family. Daniel Webster was a distant cousin to me. But the history of the Howes family was shrouded in mystery. There had been a nasty divorce of my Howes great-grandparents back in the very early 1900's that had been so scandalous that no one would discuss anything about that side of the family. My father recounted that his own father, the product of that unhappy union, had had a very unhappy childhood and simply refused to talk about any of it.

When I had my own family, I began to understand that I was no longer the baby generation and must take my place in a long line of generations... and that what I did mattered not just to me and my immediate family, but could influence many future generations. There was a budding understanding of my place in time and in the family.

So... when the internet opened up a whole new ability to do genealogy research, I was hooked. I was able to make contact with a distant Howes cousin, who had done extensive research on the Howes line. He was able to connect me all the way back to the original Howes ancestors who came to Cape Cod in 1636, Tom and Mary.  I have visited the old cemetery three times, including taking my children there. The last time I was there I took my husband, and we also toured Plimouth Plantation, a replica of the first colony on Cape Cod where the Pilgrims lived. We also toured the Mayflower II, a replica of the little ship that brought the Pilgrims here. While I haven't been able to link my line to the Pilgrims, there was only 16 years separating their arrival on these shores with my Howes ancestors. I think the similarities in the houses they built and what the ships were like are close enough for me to have gained a new understanding of the hardships felt by Tom and Mary Howes. I discovered, for instance, that Mary gave birth on the voyage across the ocean to their third son. Can you imagine??

A docent in a house at Plimouth Plantation - is this what old Tom looked like?

Plimouth Plantation - Tom and Mary's house may have looked very similar

The Mayflower II - similar to the ship that brought Tom and his family to Massachusetts

Interior of the Mayflower II - can you imagine living with 100 other people here for over 2 months? Or giving birth here?
 I have been able to trace other ancestors as the Howes family expanded and moved west, first to western Massachusetts and then to western New York. I have found the graves of every single Howes generation at each of these places. My own father now rests in a cemetery outside of Buffalo, NY and is the 5th generation of his family to lie there. He was of the 12th generation in the Howes line, I am of the 13th. My children are 14th and my grandchildren are of the 15th generation. That is so amazing to me... and having seen the hardships and sacrifices made by each of these generations is humbling and makes me very proud of my lineage.

I continue to research offshoots to this line, as well as working on my mother's German ancestors. While each of us can choose how we live our lives, learning about the contributions and foibles of our ancestors is important because it teaches us that what we do can influence future generations for many, many years. When old Tom brought his family to The New World, it changed life for not just them, but for many thousands of people in the generations that followed him. It certainly has made all the difference in my life!

This is me walking on Howes Beach on Cape Cod. It was the site of Tom and Mary's farm, and is now a public beach.





4 comments:

  1. Very informative and cool. We also traced our ancestors in western NY and found we are distantly related to a famous general Perry. His famous quote is often misquoted "we have met the enemy, and they are ours" Joan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The most famous misquote is for a very noble cause. Walt Kelly's most famous creation is the comic strip, "Pogo" and his most famous phrase is "We have met the enemy and he is us," a rallying cry for a generation of conservationists.
      Best wishes, Colleen.

      Delete
  2. Hi Barb, Colleen here. I come from a long line of nobodies. On my mother’s side, they were all doughy-faced peasant Brits. The “patriarch” George Windsor, ran away to America in 1840 from some indentured sort of apprenticeship arrangement about which I am unclear. They were good, pious hard working people, but nobodies, one and all. I think it is amusing that the royal family has the same name. There is absolutely no connection.
    My father was born out of wedlock to a silly stupid girl. She was the daughter of Danish immigrants who raised my father. My big, strapping and handsome father was the son of an abusive drunk who died on the streets of Buffalo. My mother would be HORRIFIED that I am writing this, but truth is truth.
    It is nice that you have a fine background. Yes, you should be proud of it and your ancestors and pass it along to your sons and their children. I really think it is great. My story is a little different.
    What I am proud of is how, starting with my Mom and Dad and my maternal grandparents, we have not connected with our past, but with eyes firmly fixed on the future, have been able to rise above our origins.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Colleen, your family story is not that unusual, and you should be very proud of it. Remember that my Howes great grandparents were divorced-- the story is that my great grandfather came home from an extended stay at a TB sanitarium to find my great grandmother in bed with the hired man. Scandalous! Especially for the small farming community they lived in where everyone knew everyone else's business. I think my grandmother, a Webster, was considered to have married beneath her when she married a Howes. And the Websters were just poor farmers. Nobodies, as you say. Our country is founded on the backs of a whole bunch of hard working nobodies. Thanks for sharing a different perspective. I still believe that what we do now impacts future generations in ways we can't imagine.

      Delete